How does powerlessness over these thought patterns make us unfulfilled?
When we say that our lives have become unfulfilled, we are referring to needs of a fundamental nature. In our experience, a life that does not enjoy love, intimacy and creative expression is unfulfilled and susceptible to undue pain and suffering. Our other fundamental need is a sustained feeling of safety and comfort within our own bodies. Without this elusive combination we became prey to all sorts of addictions in an attempt to change and or control the way we feel.
In our experience, we have discovered that many of us had no true ability to love others, as we desired. Many of us had been in relationship after relationship that had moments when we shared love, but with those fleeting moments, more often than not, there was a consistent feeling of fear and or discontent. We saw the relationships others seemed to be enjoying and became distraught that those same qualities simply did not exist for us.
Many of us engaged in a different sort of relationship. We seemed to choose partners that all but ensured future heartache and defeat. Or, many of us, who had our fair share of those roller coaster rides, resigned ourselves to settling into relationships that were safe and stagnant.
We would choose partners that we could take or leave.
We chose partners who we could easily control and remain safe, so to speak.
The same seemed to carry over into the relationships we shared with our friends as well. Most of us had difficulty meeting new people or allowing new friends to get close, instead we settled into unfulfilled friendships with people who related, on some level, with our outlook upon life.
Many of our friendships seemed to share a survival type mentality. These relationships seemed to share the bond of mutual suffering rather than fulfillment. Over time, we became increasingly distraught over the lack of true love we shared with those around us. For many others, we had simply accepted this sort of interrelation as our only option.
We were simply not aware that we could experience anything else!!
Of course, after enough of these types of relationships, we began to question what the common denominator was.
What did all of these unfulfilled relationships have in common?
The answer was simple.
We were in every single one of them!
We began to see that we were only capable and or willing to participate in certain kinds of relationships. We did not know how to go about experiencing anything different. After diving into the work outlined in this suggested plan of action, we began to see that it was our Unconscious thought Patterns that attracted others who reflected the core beliefs we supported in regards to love and intimacy. We began to take hold of the notion that we had all learned specific ideas or concepts of love that held very little in common with the love we yearned to experience.
We began to see that we went out of our way to choose partners and experiences with others that could confirm what we believed love was. We discovered that we wanted to be right about what we believed about our-selves. We had developed conditioned beliefs in regards to our worthiness to experience love and intimacy with others. Unfortunately, being right about what we believed in regards to our ability to experience love and intimacy made us feel defeated. At this point we often gave up on the prospect of love and intimacy all together and began to engage in other activities, which kept us really busy and distracted, yet equally unfulfilled.
Of course, we were not Consciously Aware that we were the common denominator in our own unfulfillment until we acknowledged that we supported all of this with our own mind.
We simply held thoughts and beliefs that limited our range of experiences. Once we could admit that we were Not Victims we also had to admit that in our current state of mind, we were absolutely powerless to change this cycle of unfulfillment.
The same mental process that led to our unfulfillment with Love and Intimacy also carried over to the Professional and Creative aspect of our lives. Many of us had unfulfilled creative desires that had been tormenting us for quite some time. Many more of us were caught in a bewildering cycle of dead end jobs that crushed our soul and drove us to escape life whenever possible. Others of us got the job that looked really great on the out-side but left us discontent and exhausted nonetheless.
There is another fundamental need that is often overlooked, but is the key to sustained ability to achieve the Love, Intimacy and Creative Expression that we yearn to experience.
This other fundamental need is a Sustained feeling of Safety and Comfort within our own bodies. Without this feeling of safety and comfort, all those other fundamental needs run the risk of devolving into addictive mechanisms in order to feel safe or comfortable, if only for a moment.
In other words, if we feel fearful and unfulfilled rather than safe and comfortable then we will take action, often times drastic and destructive action, to change how we feel. This is where every form of addiction comes into play.
This is a section from the book entitled "The Conscious Creators Handbook" by The Creative Collective Alliance.
Copyright 2013 Retro Collective Publishing Group
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