Driving home from a delicious Christmas meal with family, my thoughts began to wander.
What a delicious dinner! A couple of new friends spent 24 hours preparing this feast fit for a king.
Pickling the beets with horseradish , rosemary in the potatoes, a Yorkshire pudding crisp and decadent, the seasoned prime rip cooked to perfection.
It was quite a sight to behold.
I was very blessed to be a part of it.
As I was driving back to Los Angeles I began thinking about my relationships over the years.
I began examining them.
I put myself back in in many of the relationships I have forged with others. .
I remembered how I felt in them.
Some of my relationships with others were very much like that dinner I savored tonight.
Fully present intimate affairs made with love.
Others were to be devoured like an exotic flavor or sweet delight.
Those were usually short lived.
There were also relationships that were more like fast food, full of empty calories.
Just kind of filler, if you wanna know the truth.
Nothing more than fuel to keep me going until the next meaningful and substantial union.
Some relationships were like Hometown Buffet.
I could just keep going back for more and more, resulting in a tummy ache.
Some relationships have had all of the above interwoven through their lengthy span.
It would appear that I have used food and my relationships with others in a very similar way.
If I don't feel like putting out any effort and dont mind paying the dough then I can just call a hooker or order yummy.com.
If I want to kill the time I can just companion up with someone and we can both eat sunflower seeds together ONE by ONE.
You get my point.
I guess lately I have been thinking about my relationships with others.
How willing and I to let them get to know me?
How willing am I to share an experience with them?
What sort of an experience does my soul crave right now?
Like our body craves certain nutrients, perhaps, so too, do our souls crave specific experiences?
Can I honor my souls calling?
How can I not?
It needs the loving, intimate, vulnerable nourishment of a deep and profound relationship.
In needs for me to stop pigging out on Subway trying to fill some whole.
It is trying to get me to connect to the fact that the this relationship ideal does not come through the touch or validation of another.
It comes from remembering what I am and standing in that place long enough to create something special, because I am special.
